Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
