He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
