It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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