We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
