Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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