ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
my poor anus
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
