Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
