i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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