I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
