I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
