bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The best revenge is premature balding
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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