Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
