So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
