She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize