U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
