I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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