Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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