i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
