Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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