I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
