Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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