Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
