How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
