So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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