i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
