ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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