How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize