I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
