what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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