I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
