why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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