my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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