I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
