i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
