He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
