I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
