Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
