oh god the rape fog is back!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
