and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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