I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
