Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Quick, to the slutcave!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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