Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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