ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
