I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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