I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
