He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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