we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
