Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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