so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
