Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
