also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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