remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
