He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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