fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize