he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
