You're my little dorito
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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