so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
