He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
