She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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