first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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