i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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