Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
